The One Self Defense Book That Should Be Read By Every Parent & Teenage Girl

In fact if I was only allowed to recommend just one book for parents and teenage girls to read, this would be it.

Protecting The Gift: Keeping Children and Teenagers Safe (and Parents Sane) by Gavin De Becker

Since I can rarely find the time to sit down and read I actually listen to books by subscribing to an audio book membership like the one available at audible.com.

Why I like this option is that I can download it directly to my iPod and listen to the book while going for a walk, jog or while doing yard work around the house.

Gavin De Becker has appeared on TV shows like Oprah after his first self defense book was released. That book was called The Gift of Fear.

I call this a self defense book however do not be fooled since it is not a book about self defense moves and techniques.

I would lean more towards calling it a self defense book about awareness for protecting your kids by being proactive and fine tuning your intuition.

The premise that De Becker works off of is that violence against particularly women and children usually has tell tale warning signs before an attack actually happens.

By listening to your intuition and knowing what the warning signs are, you can avoid exposing yourself and children to the actions of predators.

De Becker does not tell you that his advice is applicable to all situations but is more specifically focused on the violence that takes place that can be prevented.

He does not focus on random acts of violence, which consequently is a small percentage of the actual violence that occurs.

An example of De Becker's common sense approach in this self defense book can be seen in his advice regarding the traditional teaching your kids to not speak to strangers.

What he points out is that within the first week of telling your child not to talk to strangers you then inundate them with all the exceptions to the rule.

They are told to go ahead and say hello to the cashier at the supermarket, or the "nice" man that commented on how cute they were, so on and so forth.

If my child and I are separated in a department store I would want them to be able to have the confidence to approach a stranger and communicate clearly what is wrong.

I would prefer them to be able to communicate instead of crying and hyperventilating for 20 minutes before anyone is able to understand them.

De Becker advocates teaching your child to be able to choose who to approach in a scenario like this.

Ideally what he recommends your child do is to approach a female, especially one who has kids with them because a woman will see to it that the child will be protected and taken care of.

Whereas if the child approaches a man you can never know if they are exposing themselves to a predator and that most men will just point the kid towards the customer service counter as opposed to taking them under a protective motherly wing.

This self defense book is laced with plenty of real life stories and anecdotes about violence on children and women which can be a bit disturbing to some people but they are not of an extremely graphic nature. A lot of these stories are repeats of some of the same ones that appeared in his earlier work "The Gift of Fear".

He even covers how to approach your childs school on a proactive level to ensure that they are not sweeping anything that may be a cause for concern in the future under the carpet.

He discusses how to interview child care givers and how most people make the mistake of trusting a child care agencies recommendation.Or how they mistakenly attach the positive qualities of a person referring a babysitter to the actual babysitter.

This self defense book is a real eye opener and has a twelve point checklist that you child must be able to pass before you should allow them to venture out on their own unsupervised.

Some of the plain truths discussed are that males are more dangerous to children and teenagers than women.

The fact that teenage girls are most susceptible to predatory males than teenage boys. Also the fact that "Partners" are much, much more dangerous to children than their biological fathers are.

What I really like and would recommend sharing to every female, especially women and teenagers are some of the indicators that you are in the presence of a predator.

The indicators are clearly spelled out and the presence of just one or two of them does not necessarily mean someone is a predator however it sets off warning bells for you to further analyze.

The advice on these indicators and how to handle yourself when confronted with them is priceless.

"A" stands for access, "C" stands for cover and "E" stands for escape.

For child abduction the presence of all three of these factors will usually set on an alarm bell and trigger your intuition that something is not right.

The predator needs to have access to your child in maybe an area like a park, the cover can be just around a bend on a path where you cannot see them but they can call your child and the final piece of the puzzle is an escape route.

The presence of all three does not necessarily mean that an abduction is going to occur however this is what the mind of a predator looks for. And you do not want your child to be an easy target.

So you remove one or all of the components of the A.C.E. acronym and you have made your child a "hard target".

Knowing this acronym can come in handy not only for outings with your child but for proactive security planning at kids birthday parties, dance recitals and other functions that you may be involved in planning or attending with your child.

The value of the information contained within the book far, far, far outweighs the cost of this self defense book.

It is something that I will pass on to my daughters when the time is right and the advice will be as relevant today as it will be twenty years from now.

An example of some of the indicators are when a guy comes off as being "charming" or really "nice".

This is especially when you have never crossed paths with the individual before.

By recognizing this behaviour and seeing it for what it really is you can then deal with it.

When someone basically just happens to cross your path and they come off as being really charming, you need to see it as a means of manipulation for their own self interest.

When this is coupled with some "teaming up" language, you are definitely looking at a warning signal.

Teaming up language is when a man stops to help you carry your groceries up a flight of stairs and says "We got a hungry cat up there, so I'll help you carry these up!"

Number one your cat is not his so why on earth would he say "We got a hungry cat......"?

You deal with this basically by being assertive and calling him on it and insisting that you are okay and will carry the groceries up yourself.

Yet another indicator would be persistance.

So lets say in the above "hungry cat" example, you tell him that everything is okay and you do not need any help. And keep in mind you say it sternly!

But the guy still persists!

A predator see's this as winning a negotiation match and will keep insisting till you give him access to carry the groceries into your apartment.

Be assertive, let him get pissed off and call you names and do not give in.

Your life may depend upon it and if the guy is a decent human being they may get a bit offended initially but will understand and get over it.

The discussion the author has and his explanations particularly around this issue is superb.

I could go on and on about all the great things in this self defense book, so get a hard copy and read it or try out my preferred way of listening to it at audible.com.

I'll tell you a bit about audible.com here because I love the products they provide.

In a nutshell here it is. At audible.com you can download audio versions of thousands of books.

You can pay for them individually or purchase a membership where you are billed monthly and accumulate credits to use towards downloads.

I personally pay $14.95 a month which gives me one credit a month. Most books are only 1 credit.

They sometimes run new membership incentives with something like the first 3 months for only $7.95 per month.

What I found was that with little kids I couldn't find the time to read much anymore, but I could listen on my way to work, while mowing the lawn or at night in bed.

There is a free subscription to the audio version of either the Wall Street Journal or The New York Times which can keep you up on all the news during the week.

You become more well read and can listen to a huge assortment of the most recent fiction and non-fiction titles.

On top of this I use some of my credits for my daughter so she can listen to some of the children's books that are available. (Great for long family trips and for exercising her auditory learning muscles!)

When it comes to a self defense book for parents I highly, highly recommend the book "Protecting The Gift" by Gavin De Becker.

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